Women will take center stage in an exciting season of regional premiers at Falcon Theatre this coming season. We have 5 shows all new to the Greater Cincinnati area…several getting their first US production…lined up for this year. So without any further ado…here it is…our long awaited season for 2025-26 (cue fanfare)!
THE SECRETARY
by Kyle John Schmidt
THE SECRETARY is an offbeat comedy about safety, love, and guns in a world that’s up in arms.
Ruby runs a small-town gun company that aims to protect women by helping them protect themselves. With products like The Bridesmaid, The Babysitter and The Mallwalker, each of the company’s guns is named after a woman who used a gun and saved a life–more often than not, her own. When an elderly secretary at the local high school confronts a threat in her office with six bullets, Ruby responds by naming her latest gun after the reluctant hero: “The Secretary.” But as production begins on The Secretary, guns start going off all around town–and no one’s pulling the trigger…but sales are through the roof!
Performance Dates: September 19, 20, 25, 26, 27, October 2, 3, and 4, 2025
LEMONS LEMONS LEMONS LEMONS LEMONS
by Sam Steiner
The average person will speak 123,205,750 words in a lifetime. But what if there were a limit? Oliver and Bernadette are about to find out.
LEMONS LEMONS LEMONS LEMONS LEMONS imagines a world where we’re forced to say less. It’s about what we say and how we say it; about the things we can only hear in the silence; about dead cats, activism, eye contact and lemons, lemons, lemons, lemons, lemons. This play subtly confronts censorship by bringing us into the home of one couple confronted with extreme limits.
Sam Steiner’s play premiered at Warwick Arts Centre in 2015 and won three Judges’ Awards at the National Student Drama Festival, before appearing at Latitude Festival, the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and Camden People’s Theatre, London.
Performance Dates: November 7, 8, 13, 14, 15, 22, 21, and 22, 2025
A GIRL IN A SCHOOL UNIFORM (WALKS INTO A BAR)
by Lulu Raczka
It’s the future. But only slightly. There are blackouts. No one knows what’s causing them, but that doesn’t stop people going missing in them.
Schoolgirl Steph walks into the seedy, empty bar where Bell works. Bell is dressed with everything short and low, and there are no longer any regulars at her bar. Whatever has happened to create this dystopian world remains a mystery, but we learn that there are frequent blackouts, people regularly go missing and women are being killed.
Steph is looking for her friend Charlotte, a girl who also at some point walked into Bell’s bar but then went missing. The relationship between Bell and Charlotte is unclear, as her conversations with Steph shift between truth, lies and fantasy. In this tense atmosphere, where there is a sense of growing fear, the play ” forces the audience to turn detective not just to track down the elusive Charlotte but also to find meaning itself” (The Guardian).
A GIRL IN A SCHOOL UNIFORM (WALKS INTO A BAR) is the third play by award-winning playwright Lulu Raczka and was produced at the West Yorkshire Playhouse in 2017 and the New Diorama Theatre in 2018.
Performance Dates: January 23, 24, 29, 30, 31, February 5, 6, and 7, 2026
CROCODILE FEVER
by Meghan Tyler
Sisters, an abusive father, the IRA and yes, a crocodile.
Northern Ireland, 1989. A farmhouse window smashes, and rebellious Fianna Devlin crashes back into the life of her pious sister Alannah.
Together for the first time in years, when they’re forced to confront their tyrannical father’s hideous legacy, all hell breaks loose.
Fuelled by Taytos, gin, 80s tunes and a chainsaw, Meghan Tyler’s surreal Crocodile Fever is a grotesque black comedy celebrating sisterhood whilst reminding us that the pressure cooker of The Troubles is closer than we imagine.
Performance Dates: March 13, 14, 19, 20, 21, 26, 27 and 28, 2026
THE APIARY
by Kate Douglas
“Critic’s Pick…A bright, strange and mesmerizing marvel” – The New York Times
It’s twenty-two years in the future, and honeybees are nearly extinct except for those kept alive inside of labs. Zora is overqualified for her new job at one of these labs, but she’s there because she loves bees—or what is left of them. Her stressed supervisor, Gwen, has learned to keep her head and budget down so her research doesn’t get discontinued. Zora, however, doesn’t mind spending her own time and money to try to rehabilitate the bee population. When an unfortunate incident leads to a boost in the bees’ numbers, Zora and her coworker Pilar have to decide just how far they’re willing to go to keep the population growing. An unsettling and sharp-witted cautionary tale, The Apiary warns that the key to protecting each other and the planet is right in front of us, if only we would listen. Performance Dates: May 1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 14, 15 and 16, 2026
Single ticket and Flex Pass sales will be available online soon! Watch our website and your email for more information about this fantastic season.
Auditions will be held Wednesday, July 23 at 7pm at the Schoolhouse Restaurant.
Behind the Curtain Cincinnati 