BPI Announce Auditions for CRAZY HORSES

August 4 and 5, 2014, 6:30 p.m. – 8 p.m. at the Anderson Center Theatre

SYNOPSIS
Heaven is in chaos. The Department of the Apocalypse is a shambles- overheads are rocketing and the lead time on mortality isn’t cost-efficient. Some consultants have suggested God shake things up a bit by swapping the roles of the Horsemen – or, rather, Horsepeople – of the Apocalypse. But that only brings its own set of problems. To end their misery three of the Horsepeople decide to back the other team and call on Satan to stage a coup and return things to the way they have always been done. Only Satan (who has always fallen some way short of his mother’s high expectations when it comes to being evil) has been grounded. To further complicate things a misunderstanding sees the future of Christianity put instead into the hands of a cleaner. Faced with a plot that’s about to implode, Satan slips into Heaven to oversee the coup himself…

A note from the directors:
We see some of the roles as flexible in terms of accent, others not as much. While the distinctly British language will mostly be kept the same, the author and publisher may give us permission to make some minor cultural edits to better connect with our American audience. The humor is still VERY British in a Monty-Python-meets-Black-Adder kind of way. We just feel that accents may be irrelevant given the fact that the play takes place in Heaven and Hell and who knows what accents they have there! We are very much open to your own interpretations of the roles that may go beyond or differ our descriptions below. We are VERY keen to let those auditioning feel comfortable doing multiple readings to give us all a chance to explore different interpretations. We are open to people of any race playing any of the roles.

CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS

MAJOR ROLES

• GOD (Arthur): (Male 50+) A matter of fact businessman, keeping his eye on the heavenly equivalent of the bottom line. The kind of businessman that is always behind on the latest technology, but likes to drop the recent “buzz words” into meetings with his staff. He can come across as doddering or “out of it” but he is not, he just feels he is concentrating on more important things and can’t be bothered with “little things”.
• DEATH (Eric): (Male 25-60) Professional, and while good at what he does he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.
• FAMINE (Geoffrey): (Male 40+ but probably the oldest of the Horsepeople) A little more common (Blue-collar/working class) than the others, especially when he loses his cool. Dyslexic, which can lead to some unfortunate misunderstandings.
• WAR (Albert): (Male 45+) An old war general (this could be played in various different ways, all of which we are open to at this point). He is politically incorrect, sexist, alcoholic and unfriendly. He shouts a lot (like a drill sergeant or Brian Blessed?). We are entertaining the possibility of his being a Full Metal Jacket American type or the bushy mustached, red-faced British military man.
• PLAGUE (Penelope): (Female 25-45) Professional. Overly fashionable. Clever, ambitious, feminist with a dry sense of humor.
• SAINT PETER: (Male 40+) Highly Professional. Dry sense of humor. Loyal.
• FRUNK: (Male or Female 18-30) A completely incompetent spy from Hell who has just graduated from Underworld University. He is accidentally assigned to the case of helping Satan overthrow Heaven. He is a goblin disguised badly as an angel who thinks he has the best ability to hide but he is actually very bad at it. This role calls for a lot of physical comedy.
• SATAN (Lucifer/Louie): (Male 25-40) The adult who still lives with his mum and very much reluctantly tied to her apron strings. Trying desperately to prove himself to be the fearful leader many mistake him to be. Comes across as geeky and/or nebbish.

SUPPORTING ROLES

• A MAN: (Male 45+) A Cynical working class British Bloke who likes his fried food and telly. The “new” Death has come to take him and he’ll have none of it.
• A WOMAN (Edna): (Male in Drag, the same actor who plays A CLEANER 45+) A MAN’s wife. She sits knitting and barely listens to her husband. She is pleasant enough but doesn’t say much.
• A CLEANER: (Male, the Same actor who plays A WOMAN 45+) An unappreciated employee of Heaven who the Horsemen mistake for one of Satan’s spies (a fact of which he is unaware). He is very serious about his mopping skills.
• SATAN’S MUM (Dolores): (Female 50+) Pushy, controlling but wants the best for her son. She is well meaning. She has a prior relationship with God.
• JULES MALONEY: (Female 35-55) Head of Communications for Heaven. God’s Public Relations woman. Highly professional spin doctor. Dry delivery.

Show dates are Oct. 17 – 25, 2014. If you have any questions about the show and/or roles, please feel free to contact James and Sarah Updike at updiketheater@hotmail.com.